I'm Back. Please Don't Make A Big Deal Of It.

So. Here we are.
Fifteen years. Fifteen. That's how long I've been gone. To put that in perspective, when I last posted on this blog, Instagram didn't exist, Elon Musk was just a rich guy who liked rockets, and people still said 'LOL' without irony. The world has changed a lot. Soo have I. I moved countries. Quit India faster than the Britishers (Circa 2013) and moved to the Habibiland. Spent a couple of years of COVID in Singapura too.

I have changed a lot. The blog, however, should looks exactly the same, which is either deeply comforting or a sign that Blogspot simply refuses to die. Like a cockroach. A very loyal cockroach.

You're probably wondering where I went. I could give you a very dramatic answer. I could tell you I was doing something important, building schools in remote villages, discovering myself on a mountain, writing a novel that will shake the foundations of literature. But if you've read even two posts on this blog you already know that none of that is true. The honest answer is: I got busy, got lazy, got distracted, and then suddenly fifteen years had passed and I was standing in my kitchen eating an insanely oily Vada Pav at 11pm wondering where my twenties went.

The more interesting question is why I'm back. I'll tell you. The world has become spectacularly, magnificently, bafflingly weird. Not in a scary way, I'm staying far away from anything remotely political, I learned that lesson but in a delightfully stupid way. A way that absolutely demands commentary. Did you know there are people who get paid actual real money to review hotel pillows on the internet? That there are 'sleep influencers'? That someone recently tried to sell a piece of toast that 'looked like a map of France' for two hundred euros on eBay?

Not to mention, that I am now a survivor of a Pandemic and a War, that I experienced up close. Seeing the Drones and Missiles being intercepted right outside my Balcony has changed my perspective towards life in general. This is the world we live in. And someone needs to document it. Preferably someone with no formal qualifications, a questionable attention span, and too much free time, which I still seriously lack.
That someone, unfortunately for all of us, is me. I'm back. I'm going to post every day. I have absolutely no idea what I'm going to write about and that is exactly the kind of energy this blog was built on. Strap in. This is going to be a disaster. Good to see you again.

Randomness

So all of ye been Wondering what I've been up to? Well i say nothing much you inquisitive buggers. I've just been painting sketching some abstract things like these on my new phone. Yeah, Yeah i know, it's like really gay but just forget it, got nothing much to do anyway.

Oppsites Attract.

Opposites attract, is it for real? So far I always thought that this statement was true. I held onto this belief so firm in my mind that when I actually started looking out for a new girlfriend I started finding the differences between us rather than finding similarities. Now, when I was available I started looking and when I started looking I was looking all around the place for a nice girl who can keep a bad boy like me in control. Finally, after a lot of thinking I tried to give it a shot with one of my ex colleagues. Suruchi, yes, that’s what the name was, Suruchi, A sweet little innocent girl. Princess Fiona of my fantasy and me ugly and thin little Shrek. Yeah, you read it right. I am not a huge and ugly ogre but a thin and ugly one and probably also sweet (no pun intended). Maybe I am not one of those guys who look like Brad Pitt but, I dun look like Samuel Jackson either. Fooling myself psychologically and creating an atmosphere of my absolute supremacy I decided to ask her out.

Internet and instant messengers have really made dating so easy for people like me. People who hide behind a façade of super confident and cool dudes when online but exactly opposite when you meet them personally. All you have to do is type what you want and BANG comes the reply. Sitting all puppy eyed and slightly intoxicated with the extra boost of confidence that alcohol gives to my nervous system I let out my feelings. I also wrote a poem for her. Words can’t even express how good i was feeling that day. So I will try to put the chat down to the minutest detail over here.

Me: Hey Suruchi.

Suruchi: sssssssssup kurtnirvana?

Me: nm aap bolo.

Suruchi: kuch nahi just came back from work.

Me: I love you.

Suruchi: ?

Me: ?

Suruchi: Wat happened?

Me: I love you..

Suruchi: Lol: P. It seems you are drunk. (How the fuck did she know that I was drunk).

Me: Lying, Not really I am not drunk. I really love you a lot. It just took me a long time to realize it.

Suruchi: Kurtnirvana stop it now and become serious its not April till now.

Me: No Suruchi I am not lying I am dead serious.
Suruchi: hahahahahhahaha!
:P
B-)

Me: ? Here, I also wrote a poem for you.

Suruchi: How can I make sure that this is not one of your stupid and dumb jokes?

(Now it wasn't a spark or explosion or even a tremendously huge big bang. But it might as well have been. Imagine the jolt of a Eureka moment when you've had a really good Idea. Then also imagine the physical shock after you have just been startled by a surprise .Now combine both sensations, magnify and multiple by Infinity and your pretty damn close to the effect.)

I waited for what proved infinite to me. Slipping slowly into Oblivion where the mind is numb and unable to control your fingers that are typing all those lovely feelings in the language universally known as love I was awaiting a reply from my princess Fiona.

Suruchi: hahahahaha. Kaha se Churaya?

Me: ? what?

Suruchi: Poem kaha se churaya?

Me: I just wrote it right now for you.

Suruchi: Kurtnirvana I think you are completely drunk right now and not in your senses. Good Night.

Me: Whats wrong with you? I am saying that I love you and you are making fun of my feelings now.

Suruchi: I am sure you are kidding and its one of your dumb pranks on me again.
Anyway, Good night I got a busy day ahead tomorrow.

(Never in my life had I thought that my sense of humor was so bad that, when I will actually ask a girl out she will think that its one of my stupid jokes.)

Me: aright cya then.

Suruchi: Kal hosh me baat karenge humlog.

Me: I am in my senses right now as well.

Suruchi: Good Night.

Me: Good night
"Suruchi" is offline and cannot receive messages right now.


I am really glad that she was not there sitting in front of me to see my face.

This is how it ended the first time this is what happened when I let my feelings known. I have already written a lot for today. The day of reckoning is still to come. I have not even started writing the most interesting part about what happened the next day. It will follow soon, really soon, I swear on all ye guys.

Till then,

Ciao.