Opposites attract, is it for real? So far I always thought that this statement was true. I held onto this belief so firm in my mind that when I actually started looking out for a new girlfriend I started finding the differences between us rather than finding similarities. Now, when I was available I started looking and when I started looking I was looking all around the place for a nice girl who can keep a bad boy like me in control. Finally, after a lot of thinking I tried to give it a shot with one of my ex colleagues. Suruchi, yes, that’s what the name was, Suruchi, A sweet little innocent girl. Princess Fiona of my fantasy and me ugly and thin little Shrek. Yeah, you read it right. I am not a huge and ugly ogre but a thin and ugly one and probably also sweet (no pun intended). Maybe I am not one of those guys who look like Brad Pitt but, I dun look like Samuel Jackson either. Fooling myself psychologically and creating an atmosphere of my absolute supremacy I decided to ask her out.
Internet and instant messengers have really made dating so easy for people like me. People who hide behind a façade of super confident and cool dudes when online but exactly opposite when you meet them personally. All you have to do is type what you want and BANG comes the reply. Sitting all puppy eyed and slightly intoxicated with the extra boost of confidence that alcohol gives to my nervous system I let out my feelings. I also wrote a poem for her. Words can’t even express how good i was feeling that day. So I will try to put the chat down to the minutest detail over here.
Me: Hey Suruchi.
Suruchi: sssssssssup kurtnirvana?
Me: nm aap bolo.
Suruchi: kuch nahi just came back from work.
Me: I love you.
Suruchi: ?
Me: ?
Suruchi: Wat happened?
Me: I love you..
Suruchi: Lol: P. It seems you are drunk. (How the fuck did she know that I was drunk).
Me: Lying, Not really I am not drunk. I really love you a lot. It just took me a long time to realize it.
Suruchi: Kurtnirvana stop it now and become serious its not April till now.
Me: No Suruchi I am not lying I am dead serious.
Suruchi: hahahahahhahaha!
:P
B-)
Me: ? Here, I also wrote a poem for you.
Suruchi: How can I make sure that this is not one of your stupid and dumb jokes?
(Now it wasn't a spark or explosion or even a tremendously huge big bang. But it might as well have been. Imagine the jolt of a Eureka moment when you've had a really good Idea. Then also imagine the physical shock after you have just been startled by a surprise .Now combine both sensations, magnify and multiple by Infinity and your pretty damn close to the effect.)
I waited for what proved infinite to me. Slipping slowly into Oblivion where the mind is numb and unable to control your fingers that are typing all those lovely feelings in the language universally known as love I was awaiting a reply from my princess Fiona.
Suruchi: hahahahaha. Kaha se Churaya?
Me: ? what?
Suruchi: Poem kaha se churaya?
Me: I just wrote it right now for you.
Suruchi: Kurtnirvana I think you are completely drunk right now and not in your senses. Good Night.
Me: Whats wrong with you? I am saying that I love you and you are making fun of my feelings now.
Suruchi: I am sure you are kidding and its one of your dumb pranks on me again.
Anyway, Good night I got a busy day ahead tomorrow.
(Never in my life had I thought that my sense of humor was so bad that, when I will actually ask a girl out she will think that its one of my stupid jokes.)
Me: aright cya then.
Suruchi: Kal hosh me baat karenge humlog.
Me: I am in my senses right now as well.
Suruchi: Good Night.
Me: Good night
"Suruchi" is offline and cannot receive messages right now.
I am really glad that she was not there sitting in front of me to see my face.
This is how it ended the first time this is what happened when I let my feelings known. I have already written a lot for today. The day of reckoning is still to come. I have not even started writing the most interesting part about what happened the next day. It will follow soon, really soon, I swear on all ye guys.
Till then,
Ciao.
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
Sunday, February 8, 2009
Spread Love By Sending Pink Chaddi!
I had not Posted anything about the Mangalore Pub Assault incident not cause i approved of it but, i thought it might give them some more publicity. After looking at this campaign i could not resist myself though. Thanks to Jhayu for bringing this amazing campaign to my notice.
Lets follow Gandhigiri to fight the tyranny of our own countrymen. Lets send our good wishes in a unique way. Lets send Shree Ram Sene a Pink Chaddi.
YEAH Baby! you heard me right Lets send them a Pink Chaddi Because, Chaddis are Forever.
More Information about on how you can send the chaddis of proper size and shapes can be found here.
Lets follow Gandhigiri to fight the tyranny of our own countrymen. Lets send our good wishes in a unique way. Lets send Shree Ram Sene a Pink Chaddi.
YEAH Baby! you heard me right Lets send them a Pink Chaddi Because, Chaddis are Forever.
More Information about on how you can send the chaddis of proper size and shapes can be found here.
Monday, January 19, 2009
Ghajini or Gag hiney?
“Ghajini” is a fascinating study of the darkest and the noblest recesses of the human mind, a monument to ultra-violence, a gripping action thriller with characters so beautifully etched that you end up caring for the protagonists and what happens to them. Deservedly the top grosser of 2008.
I wish I could have said this for ‘Ghajini’ if only because I greatly admire Aamir Khan, his acting methods, his meticulous attention to detail and his association with “different” non-formulaic commercially risky movies like 2007’s brilliant “Taare Zameen Par”.
But I just cannot.
Unless of course you hit me on the head with a rusty rod or you bust my stomach with a tap still attached to the pipe.
So here’s what I feel. Truly.
Ghajini is awful. It Sucks. The worst ever movie of Aamir Khan.
Why? It’s difficult to know where to start.
Should I start with the “prince-who-pretends-to-be-pauper meets saccharinely-sweet-hearted matchstick girl” fairy tale that drags on for hours?
Or should I star with Aamir khan trying to like a wannabe Sunny Deol, Shouting at the top of his lungs to grab people’s attention or wait maybe he was trying to act King Kong in search for his long lost mate.
But, after watching this movie I just have few questions in my mind if any die-hard fan of Aamir Khan bothers to answer it.
1) I wonder how he remembered to get all the Tattoos done if he was already suffering from STML?
2) As far as I know the Polaroid cameras have been out of production units since past few years, did they make a special one for him?
3) Does he also have a tattoo to change his underwear’s everyday or has he written it somewhere?
4) Is Aamir Khan really the strongest person alive on earth or was it that the hooligans neck was really weak to Rotate at an angle of 180 degrees?
5) How do the Goons at the end of the movie don’t have guns, did they leave it at home or they had given it for servicing? (courtesy Che)
And last but not the least.
HOW CAN A MOVIE BECOME A HISTORIC HIT IN 14 MINUTES MAN?
The bottom line completely forgettable movie.
I hope you don’t forget to comment after reading this forgettable post.
I wish I could have said this for ‘Ghajini’ if only because I greatly admire Aamir Khan, his acting methods, his meticulous attention to detail and his association with “different” non-formulaic commercially risky movies like 2007’s brilliant “Taare Zameen Par”.
But I just cannot.
Unless of course you hit me on the head with a rusty rod or you bust my stomach with a tap still attached to the pipe.
So here’s what I feel. Truly.
Ghajini is awful. It Sucks. The worst ever movie of Aamir Khan.
Why? It’s difficult to know where to start.
Should I start with the “prince-who-pretends-to-be-pauper meets saccharinely-sweet-hearted matchstick girl” fairy tale that drags on for hours?
Or should I star with Aamir khan trying to like a wannabe Sunny Deol, Shouting at the top of his lungs to grab people’s attention or wait maybe he was trying to act King Kong in search for his long lost mate.
But, after watching this movie I just have few questions in my mind if any die-hard fan of Aamir Khan bothers to answer it.
1) I wonder how he remembered to get all the Tattoos done if he was already suffering from STML?
2) As far as I know the Polaroid cameras have been out of production units since past few years, did they make a special one for him?
3) Does he also have a tattoo to change his underwear’s everyday or has he written it somewhere?
4) Is Aamir Khan really the strongest person alive on earth or was it that the hooligans neck was really weak to Rotate at an angle of 180 degrees?
5) How do the Goons at the end of the movie don’t have guns, did they leave it at home or they had given it for servicing? (courtesy Che)
And last but not the least.
HOW CAN A MOVIE BECOME A HISTORIC HIT IN 14 MINUTES MAN?
The bottom line completely forgettable movie.
I hope you don’t forget to comment after reading this forgettable post.
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
Ticking away the moments that make up a dull day.
Well, you thought you got rid of me, huh? Do you think that I am going to let you enjoy peacefully. Alas, your dreams have just evaporated like salty sea water. I am back and this new year I am back with a bang.
Since the time I started working I had seen people cribbing about time. I on the other hand used to laugh at such people. I thought these people are just posing to get attention, kind of attention seekers like we have some smart assholes in P******M(no I am not speaking about any of my fellow bloggers).
Well now I have realized the importance of time. I have become one of those people who always keep on cribbing about time. Yes, everyone can laugh. I have a lot of butter on my bread these days.
I started this blog for many reasons. One was to improve my writing skills and the other was to improve my grammatical abilities. As my blog now qualifies as "primary-school" reading level, I think I've definitely improved. I also wanted to have people stop by and get a laugh from something I've written. To my 9 loyal readers, I hope this is true (even if it is not you can say yes for a while or plainly act dumb).After few months of posting, I realized that it is very easy to put out mindless rants for a post. A blog that releases a post every single day, generally has a higher return rate of readers, so it was tempting for me to put out something every day. Unfortunately, to release a post every day is not my cup of tea. I have to either sacrifice time or quality if there is any.
So I moved to posting about 2x a month. I felt that this would be a good level to put out funny posts without spending too much time on this blog.
Alas, I have found that the one or more of the following must be true to put out a high-quality, regular posting blog:
You are unemployed.
You are retired.
You get bored by everything.
You have no children, or have a live-in nanny.
You blog at work and don’t work (like me).
You cheat your Girlfriend and friends of quality time.
You make actual money with your blog with stupid adwords programme.(ROFL)
You are Amitabh Bacchan.
All of the above
Recently, my time reading other blogs has decreased greatly as I try not to view many external web-sites at work apart from the so called creative websites & the websites that can be used for SMO activities.
The moral of the story is that I cannot put out quality humor content on a regular basis with my current schedule. Thus I have decided to put this blog on "hold" until the time I get time to write something meaningful. At that time, I think I'll concentrate on putting out posts that I am truly proud of...even if is only once or twice a month. I will not post Stupid videos and pictures or tell you about what I ate for lunch or how many times did I fart in a day just to get "something out there."
A meaningful post will follow soon.
PS: - Thanks, Preeti for giving me an idea on what to write.
Until then Ciao.
Since the time I started working I had seen people cribbing about time. I on the other hand used to laugh at such people. I thought these people are just posing to get attention, kind of attention seekers like we have some smart assholes in P******M(no I am not speaking about any of my fellow bloggers).
Well now I have realized the importance of time. I have become one of those people who always keep on cribbing about time. Yes, everyone can laugh. I have a lot of butter on my bread these days.
I started this blog for many reasons. One was to improve my writing skills and the other was to improve my grammatical abilities. As my blog now qualifies as "primary-school" reading level, I think I've definitely improved. I also wanted to have people stop by and get a laugh from something I've written. To my 9 loyal readers, I hope this is true (even if it is not you can say yes for a while or plainly act dumb).After few months of posting, I realized that it is very easy to put out mindless rants for a post. A blog that releases a post every single day, generally has a higher return rate of readers, so it was tempting for me to put out something every day. Unfortunately, to release a post every day is not my cup of tea. I have to either sacrifice time or quality if there is any.
So I moved to posting about 2x a month. I felt that this would be a good level to put out funny posts without spending too much time on this blog.
Alas, I have found that the one or more of the following must be true to put out a high-quality, regular posting blog:
You are unemployed.
You are retired.
You get bored by everything.
You have no children, or have a live-in nanny.
You blog at work and don’t work (like me).
You cheat your Girlfriend and friends of quality time.
You make actual money with your blog with stupid adwords programme.(ROFL)
You are Amitabh Bacchan.
All of the above
Recently, my time reading other blogs has decreased greatly as I try not to view many external web-sites at work apart from the so called creative websites & the websites that can be used for SMO activities.
The moral of the story is that I cannot put out quality humor content on a regular basis with my current schedule. Thus I have decided to put this blog on "hold" until the time I get time to write something meaningful. At that time, I think I'll concentrate on putting out posts that I am truly proud of...even if is only once or twice a month. I will not post Stupid videos and pictures or tell you about what I ate for lunch or how many times did I fart in a day just to get "something out there."
A meaningful post will follow soon.
PS: - Thanks, Preeti for giving me an idea on what to write.
Until then Ciao.
Monday, January 12, 2009
New Words For Noobs
These are some new words that i came across while surfing on the net and my tenure at P******M. I think that the never ending list of “NEW WORDS” continues to expand each year. There are a few in this list who’s origin can be traced back in time and a few new ones. I Hope you enjoy the definitions and make these words stick
Sorry Jhayu, I know this post might look Inspired from some blog to you.
1. BLAMESTORMING : Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
2. SEAGULL MANAGER : A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
3. ASSMOSIS : The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
4. CUBE FARM : An office filled with cubicles
5. PRAIRIE DOGGING : When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people’s heads pop up over the walls to see what’s going on.
6. MOUSE POTATO : The on-line, wired generation’s answer to the couch potato.
7. SITCOMs : Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What Yuppies get into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.
8. STRESS PUPPY : A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
9. SWIPEOUT : An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
10. XEROX SUBSIDY : Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one’s workplace.
11. IRRITAINMENT : Entertainment and media spectacles that are Annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The Abhi and Ash wedding (or not) was a prime example - Himesh Reshamiya, another…
12. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE : The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
13. ADMINISPHERE : The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
14. 404 : Someone who’s clueless. >From the World Wide Web error Message “404 Not Found,” meaning that the requested site could not be located.
15. OHNOSECOND : That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you’ve just made a BIG mistake. (Like after hitting send on an e-mail by mistake)
16. CROP DUSTING : Surreptitiously passing gas while passing through a
Cube Farm.
17. FRIENDILIGENCE — The amount of time it takes to maintain friend requests on social networks such as MySpace and Facebook. “I just don’t have time for all of this friendiligence!”
18. PREHAB — A program to prevent young stars from behaving inappropriately. “Looks like Harry Potter is the only one who’s been to prehab.”
19. BROMANCE — Combination of brother and romance used to describe a strong heterosexual relationship between to males. “Sharukh Khan and Karan Johar have a great bromance.”
20. EARJACKING — Eavesdropping on a conversation. “That guy at that table over there is earjacking us!”
21. GINORMOUS — Combination of gigantic and enormous. “That sandwich I just ate was ginormous.”
*Courtesy the World Wide Web and my colleagues*
New words accepted.
Sorry Jhayu, I know this post might look Inspired from some blog to you.
1. BLAMESTORMING : Sitting around in a group, discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed, and who was responsible.
2. SEAGULL MANAGER : A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.
3. ASSMOSIS : The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.
4. CUBE FARM : An office filled with cubicles
5. PRAIRIE DOGGING : When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people’s heads pop up over the walls to see what’s going on.
6. MOUSE POTATO : The on-line, wired generation’s answer to the couch potato.
7. SITCOMs : Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage. What Yuppies get into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids.
8. STRESS PUPPY : A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.
9. SWIPEOUT : An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.
10. XEROX SUBSIDY : Euphemism for swiping free photocopies from one’s workplace.
11. IRRITAINMENT : Entertainment and media spectacles that are Annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The Abhi and Ash wedding (or not) was a prime example - Himesh Reshamiya, another…
12. PERCUSSIVE MAINTENANCE : The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.
13. ADMINISPHERE : The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.
14. 404 : Someone who’s clueless. >From the World Wide Web error Message “404 Not Found,” meaning that the requested site could not be located.
15. OHNOSECOND : That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you’ve just made a BIG mistake. (Like after hitting send on an e-mail by mistake)
16. CROP DUSTING : Surreptitiously passing gas while passing through a
Cube Farm.
17. FRIENDILIGENCE — The amount of time it takes to maintain friend requests on social networks such as MySpace and Facebook. “I just don’t have time for all of this friendiligence!”
18. PREHAB — A program to prevent young stars from behaving inappropriately. “Looks like Harry Potter is the only one who’s been to prehab.”
19. BROMANCE — Combination of brother and romance used to describe a strong heterosexual relationship between to males. “Sharukh Khan and Karan Johar have a great bromance.”
20. EARJACKING — Eavesdropping on a conversation. “That guy at that table over there is earjacking us!”
21. GINORMOUS — Combination of gigantic and enormous. “That sandwich I just ate was ginormous.”
*Courtesy the World Wide Web and my colleagues*
New words accepted.
Subscribe to:
Posts
(
Atom
)