My First Crush

Let me clarify few things before I start writing this thing. It’s not that I have anything to do with a girl; on the contrary I am trying to avoid them these days. Now, now don’t you even bother trying to find out why this is so. Just one clarification over here is that I have not changed my preferences. But, I just was being kind of nostalgic waiting for a girl outside a shoddy pub let’s call it ‘laxative of stars’. This girl is supposed to be my looooooong lost childhood friend who used to play with me. Now after leaving the locality I had almost lost contact but, Social networking website lets call it ‘CHIRKUT’ came to my rescue again. We decide to meet each other for the old time’s sake. So, I was waiting for her. Doing nothing but getting bored.

Now waiting is not really my cup of tea. So i got a smoke stick, lit it and started sucking on it. Yeah, yeah I know I suck. Suddenly this brought all of my school time’s memories back. In the same way, I was waiting for one more girl on the road which led to her place, just to let her know that I had a crush on her. Poor me, I did not have any idea what prank was going to be played on me by my damn destiny. Now I saw this girl and literally ran and shouted at the top of my lungs to get her attention. What happened next, actually the dialogue that I had with her follows.

Me: Hey how are you?
She: I am good you say.

Me: Nothing much, actually I was kind of waiting for you.
She: What? Why were you waiting for me?

Me: err, I don’t know, this is what I wanted to tell you since a looooooong time.
She: I have to reach home in next ten minutes. So it would be great if you hurry up.

Me: I really don’t know what you will feel about me after I say this.
She: hurry up Kurtnirvana I have to study for tomorrow’s test.

Me: "I like you".
She: What are you saying? How can you say a thing like this?

Me: "What do you mean by How can you? I could not help it". “It just happened”
She: "I'm not that kind of girl. Stop thinking these things about me"

Well, only really dumb girls can come up with such kind of statements. What did she mean but "that kind of girl"? Did that mean "I'm not kind of girl whom you can get easily? Or is it that those kind of girls have horns on their head and a small tail popping out from their arse. Or you will have to try very hard to take me out and flaunt me ". Or did that mean "I'm not the girl who wants to get into these relationships. I can easily go out with anyone other than you" Or did that mean "I'm not kind of girl who will hate you for having crush on me". Or did that mean. “You have to inform me in person". Or did that mean. Ok Too many alternatives. I am really in demand and I will not go out with a petty person like you.

Me: What do you mean by *that* kind of girl?
She: Why don’t you just fuck off.

Wow. That's an innovative way to answer. Fuck off. Two words. But when she uttered those words with proper modulation and pitch, it created a fantastic impact. But why did she want me to FUCK OFF? Did I say anything stupid or vulgar? Anyways, it’s better not to ask for clarification.

Me: Sorry!
She: Its okay.
Me:(staring blankly)
She: (with bit milder tone) So since when is this liking thingie going on?

Well, did that matter now? Will you say yes if I said that I’ve had crush on you from past 1000 years. Or are you trying to find out the time I wasted on the liking and pay me the exact amount of money calculating the rate of interest? Well, is there any return in the first place?

Me: Couple of months
She: How many?

Well, she surely is trying to find out the time wasted.

Me: four months.
She: See Kurtnirvana. You are a very nice guy.

If I'm really that nice, why don’t you just say yes? Why the fuck do you have to ignore me? Or is it just for motivating me to pursue another girl you are saying this? Why don’t we just cut the crap and go around? I will really not feel bad if you say just a simple no.

She: You are very nice, intelligent. Don't fall into all these things. Concentrate on studies. You have big future in front of you.

Yeah. All right. I know I have bright future and there are many more girls who are going to be part of my crush list. Thank you for making me realize that there are many more opportunities waiting for me in future and, the world does not stop with you.

Me: Thanks. I hope there are no bad feelings in your mind. I just wanted to let you know the truth.
She: Of course. No hard feelings. Our friendship won't change for such a petty thing.

Ohh! So this is a petty thing for us. Hallelujah! I thought for a moment that she will stop speaking to me after this thing. Or was I being too childish to think like that? Maybe yes.

Me: Thanks
She: Btw, on this Raksha bandhan, I am going to tie you a Rakhi.

Well, now that was a bolt out of the blue for me. Such a big punishment for such a small wrongdoing? Now I realize how girls use this small satin thread to keep the guys under control. Now I was supposed to treat a girl as my sister. The same girl I had crush on few minutes ago. What the fuck is wrong with the girls


So that was the end of my first crush. It ended up adding one more girl to my never ending sister’s list 


The dating disaster in ‘Laxative of stars’ will follow soon I promise