Back Without A Bang.

Wondering where was I, huh? Tell me you really were. Here I am, this is me and I am back but without a bang. Why without a bang? You ask, I say don’t really have that much ammunition left in me to be back with a bang. I really am having a hard time surviving ‘Verbal Weapons’ thrust towards me by my BL lets say ‘Bewearey’ and the usual stuff from Che, who does not leave a single Moment of making my life utterly miserable with his smart ass remarks. What’s more is that I have to be really careful of what I say now, you want to know why huh? I have been shifted to another team and as the part of the package comes a seat right opposite to Che. I don’t know why but I really have no clue on why this amazing deal came along with being a Copy-writer.  And throw in a Chinese guy who speaks everything in such a manner that sounds like he is getting a blow job and he is making those ecstatic noises that you make when in similar condition. My woes have become never ending everyday story, that’s why I was unable to post anything recently.

I promise that I will come up with something new really soon. I do have something interesting in the pipeline. No, no don’t get me wrong I am not speaking like a manager. It’s the truth, believe me. *Sniff*


‘That’s all for today Folks’


PS:- Last minute addition

Copy-Rioter:- Thanks for visiting my Blog even when i was not writing.

Preeti:- Thanks for being a great Nanny.

On Why I Am Single.

Be funny, and sarcastic.
Remember that great line by Nevada Smith from Carpetbaggers about how a gun is like your second cock? Well my girl did not. It was not that she was not a fan of Erotic novel writer but, she was not into reading at all.
Remember those Shitty humorous jokes about ‘how to kill babies’? She didn’t know those either. But if told those goddamn jokes to her, she would always remind me how gore my thoughts can be.
Women love a guy with a sense of humor, but they hate a guy who really knows how to laugh, don’t they.

Huh, huh... shut up, Kurtnirvana
The more you suppress those laughs when an old codger falls off, or sit stoned while when someone says the F word, the more your woman will love you.
They love a bit of fake sophistication, it depends on you how you don’t fall for that trap. Mentioning how funny you think CHE is will only have her fall more in love with you. I don’t really know what’s wrong with these girls. The next time with your fake sophistication you might just find yourself a DVD of Miss Congeniality as your birthday gift. :P
Next time you’re out at a fine restaurant, suffering through another of her birthday parties, and the waiter asks you what you’d like, just reply, “It’s Fuckin Falooda Time!” And make sure all the other guys in the restaurant can hear what you say, because they’ll be laughing their balls out but, on the inside. Try rescuing those poor guys. Tell them the truth, tell them all they need is counseling.

WTF! Was i Thinking?

No, No Don't Get me wrong this is not true. Yeah, i know it looks weird. but this was a Brilliant IDEA(WTF) by Che when he caught one more of my USRBS moments and took a screenshot. The Credit for this Post goes to CHE for his brilliant and Fuckin Funny Mind.

On a better not this was the actual status message

I love a boy & he also love me and he commitment me for marriage when he purpose me.before15month he purposeme? Amazing Yahoo Question


And after this picture has been freely distributed in the whole of my Office, I have nowhere to hide my face.

Rantings of an Imbecile mind.

Why did I Become a Copywriter? Oh, right, because I thought it would give me the chance to be creative while earning a good salary. I think I was a fool. I mean there is not point in saying that statement, everyone knows it. Well, for good salary I am not getting a salary, what I am getting is Peanuts. I envy Jhayu, no no, he does not get good salary as well, even he gets peanuts but, his peanuts are salted. Che is the most fortunate one he is the only person who gets money. As far as being creative is concerned there are very few opportunities to really be creative, and when they do come, your idea is either wasted down by your colleague, the Creative Director, or the damn client. In the end, you do something that does not look like what you originally thought of. It’s like you think of making a Dragonfly and you end up making something that is a combination of a dragonfly and a Cockroach So, this morning after getting 30 text ads disapproved by my BL (the man who loves rhino) I have decided to fight for what is right. To fight for great ideas and die on my own accord by my own desert eagle, if someone tries to mess with my creative ideas even, if they are not creative at all. I am going to fight for everything and I'm not going to let them take me out at the same time. I will make no mistakes...I'm not griping over a particular person over here. Though everything is going great right now, but I'm just saying, ye’know, in the future, when they try to bring me down I will simply poke everyone’s eye with my up yours finger.

About a girl!!!!!!!!

Heylo guys, Wats up with you these days, huh? Hope you did not miss me. *sigh* I don’t know till when am I going to fool myself that people actually miss me. Anyways, I know lots of people did not like my previous post it sounded like I was frustrated and nothing humorous about it. Well I know, but what was I supposed to do I was really frustrated. In any case lets not delve into the things from the past :P.

This is a really Funny shit I found out. The gibberish language that’s about to follow is written by someone. To be precise this is ‘ABOUT ME’ me from my ex’s Chirkut profile. I hope u don’t doubt my preferences but just for the record it was my ex-girlfriend. Followed is what I think about what she has written, Wherever you find the word spelt correctly, you will come to know it was me. Enjoy.



!!!...CuTe...!!!
**************************
Yeah, Cant disagree on this one.

!!!...SeNsItIvE...!!!
**************************
Well sometimes yes but most of the times utterly Insensitive.
!!!...SmARt...!!!
**************************
Really, huh?
!!!...InTeLlIgEnT...!!!
**************************
This thing is out of question. You can find the Intelligence quotient running in her “about me’.
!!!...FrIeNdLy...!!!
**************************
Yeah this is true. But, more friendly than required.

!!!...LoViNg...!!!
**************************
Really? But I was never the person loved.

!!!...CaRiNg...!!!
**************************
You can just change the word loving with caring.

!!!...SuPPoRtIvE!!!
**************************
Yeah damn supportive. She was so supportive that I don’t really have the words to describe the kind of support that I got :P.
!!!...UnDeRsTanDiNG!!!
**************************
Lol writing things about her is gonna make go crazy.
!!!...MooDY!!!

For sure I cant deny this.


hmm.... (go ahead think think)
bout me.... (really)
so lemme strt.... (tell me when will you stop)
adorable....naughty.....nasty....mishivious.....happenin....frndly....sweet..
cute...addictive......stubborn.....understdin.....trustworthy (redundancy, lots of spelling mistakes, “do u even need more proof on her intelligence”
extravagant dersires…..(well, well, trust me maybe for someone else never for me though )troublesome….(yeah this part was always left for me)
confused most of da tymzz……(yeah, this is for sure, even if you are not you can act really well)just luv mkin frndzz (did you forget only with boys :P)
totally a gothic behaviour......( What the fuck, I am sure please excuse her she really does not know what gothic means)
luv 2 b pampered a lot....(yeah by everyone except me)
happy -go-lucky character......(did u just speak about character?)
luv 2 b called sweet nmes....(whoa! I never knew dat. Would you mind to elaborate on what sweet means)
em 2 protective.....n possesive bout mah loved ones...(*sigh* Only about loved ones and not me)
lazyiest person on e@rth.....(i can vouch for her on this)
em a vry emotional person...lil bit of sprituality.... (damn man ever seen a spiritual atheist, on the contrary excuse her might not know the meaning of being spiritual as well)
ppl enjoy mah company loadzzz...(yeah every but does, except me)
just luv 2 hang out wid mah frndzz....(yeah, yeah right I agree. Who will know this better than me)
ppl get addicted 2 me vry easily....(yeah dats true, but on second thought this addiction is not long lasting)
lil bit of tomboyish behaviour at tymzz bt den gurlish 2……(for gods sake what do you mean by that? You are a girl)
mnny kiddas in me…..olwayzz stuck in new new problemzz……( yeah she finished off with one of the problems, ME. Well, about kidas (kiddas) I dun really know never had time ti check them out)
bt I luv 2 solve oderzz problemzz……(yeah right and then get entangled in them)n least bothered of mine……(no comments)
just luv 2 trouble ppl a lot……..(I was the biggest victim of this trait ask me)
em olwayzz in mah own world…..(where did u say your world was)
just luv 2 party ol da tym……(yeah right, I know that your idea of partying means to go to college and cooking in the kitchen)
n..
just luv mah family n frndz loadzz……( that’s where I did not fit in I guess)


Anyways, I would like to give out a disclaimer over here.

Disclaimer: -
The data contained in this file has been supplied by numerous sources, many
of which are anonymous and second- or third-hand. By its very nature, the
data contained herein is particularly susceptible to innuendo and rumor.
While I have exercised considerable editorial control by:

a) attempting to eliminate scandal, sensationalism, and/or slander,
b) seeking confirmation of rumors,
and c) expressing a willingness to debate the validity of included data,

I will not (and could not possibly be expected to) accept responsibility or
liability for any views/claims/rumours/errors that appears herein. The views
expressed in this file do not necessarily agree with my own. I have attempted
to present information in a professional and non-sensationalist manner, but
as far as the information itself goes, I am obviously at the mercy of those
who supply the data. The information is presented here in good faith for
readers' enjoyment and education; however, I will gladly entertain debate over
whether any specific piece of information should or should not be included.

DRONA or Ultimate RONA

I know I am dumb. I know I suck. But still why do I have to prove it again and again. This time around I proved it in a fuckin real retarded and idiotic way. So, you want to know how, huh? I watched D-Rona no that dash is not an error, the damn movie should have been named D-RONA, why u ask me cuz u will cry after u see it, you will cry from the pains of loosing your hard earned money. OH! Did I forget that you gotta have real guts to watch it in a theatre, inflicting a lot of pain on your damn ass for 2 hours. Yeah your ass will pain even if you watch it in a fuckin GOLD CLASS seats at FAME. You can trust me this time at least.

So even after reading this you don’t believe me, right? So I will become a real spoilsport and tell u the whole damn fuckin story( please accept my apologies for using the F WORD but, I am so damn pissed even thinking about the shitty movie that I just could not control my emotions .)

Come the first scene and you see a kid being scared by a nightmare (read Harry Potter living with Durseley’s minus uncle Vernon) come the next frame and u see a blue petal flying in through the window and the kind uncle Vernon (yeah right uncle Vernon is not mean in Indian version) says that the blasted boy is ‘SPECIAL’. I mean does he have a tail on his damn arse that makes him special. Come second frame and you see a full grown DRONA being bullied by a skinny and super cool Dudley (yeah who says that the movie is a rip off of many Hollywood movies). Poor uncle Vernon is dead by now. I think now the SPECIAL retarded hero will realize why he is so special apart from being an asshole. No but he still does not realize it. Come third frame and u see our own pathetic version of the LORD VOLDEMORT. ‘RIZ RAIZADA’ or some weird name, that too with an army of death eaters. Now, if I would have been Che I would have named him WTF villain but no, I will stick to RIZ I don’t want to write an adult post after all. I don’t really know why he wore a shitty makeup because; he was not looking scary at all. OH! But were they trying to make him look funny but, he was not even funny he was plainly creepy. Now RIZ is supposed to be an ASUR (“demon” for noobs) who is in search of AMRUT (A Famous Drink that’s supposed to make the drinker immortal, no u dirty mind it does not get u high) and our moron superhero is the protector of the place. And no, no that’s not all in come our lady Rajnikant or wait is it lady Mithun, Whatever I say, and our hero finds out after meeting her that he really is famous. Throw in some firang protectors or wait are they the priory of sion protecting the best kept secret on earth , who speak damn funny Hindi with weird accents which sounds funny even if the moment of the delivery is supposed to be dead serious. By this time I was planning to move on but no wait, the brave person I am, I decided to wait and watch the whole damn movie. One more proof against my innocence. And yeah this female Rajnikant can drive like she is racing for stakes against Vin diesel, fight the death eaters better than Hermione and what not. SHIT! Did I forget that every sentence that she starts has to begin with “Bauji Kehte The”. That’s ok with me I say as far as she gets kicks from saying whatever she feels, none of my business. Then throw in a weird looking colorful place with a even weirder name. OH! And a Strong guy with horns, bad teeth and chains around the neck, who is knocked off in one punch, strange I say. And finally the limit is a horse which would be better known as a bag of bones. No, no wait its supposed to be the fastest steed on the whole damn earth and what’s more is that it runs faster than air and no one can control it except our moron Drona. I mean seriously the horse looks as if it will fall down with malnutrition in a minute. No, no its still not over or wait I think I am done already I cant think more and feel guilty of being a retard. I will stop the torture now. PEACE with all ye fellows. But just one question, what do you get if you mix Harry Potter, some Fast and Furious, Da Vinci Code, Mummy, train chasing scene from Sholay, and colorful background from Gajagamini (for those who’ve forgotten, it was a movie by MF Hussein) Yeah, damn fuckin Right D-Rona.


So, now why don’t you just go to the nearest theatre and watch the damn movie. I am dying to get this RETARD shit off my head.

Adios.

Dating Disaster

Hello guys and thanks for waiting till I got the time to continue the ranting’s, of my dating disaster. Well I know for sure that you have not been waiting for this post desperately but, I will surely think that u have been waiting anxiously for this one. For this once, give me a chance to fool myself psychologically that, even I am a blogger in demand.

Well, well so where was I? Yeah, I was outside laxative of stars with a smoke stick in my hand. Now I know for sure where the BMC got the idea of their smoking tagline ‘A cigarette has fire at one end and fool at another.’ The copy writer might have seen me smoking somewhere while thinking of the idea. The girl I was waiting for lets call her ‘A’ was still not there. I thought that she might have been warned off by my jealous friends but, then I remembered that no one knows about her. This fact motivated me to wait for some more time. Finally her royal haughtiness arrived at the decided place 15 mins late. So it begins I thought.

Oh! I forgot to mention that it was also drizzling that evening and as usual I did not have my umbrella. So by the time she arrived I was almost shivering. We entered the pub and the only empty table was right under the fuckin blower. Reluctantly I rested my ass on the damn couch. I ordered my regular a pitcher and she did not order anything as she was fasting. Looking at her made me proud. Now you might be thinking why was I feeling proud and that too looking at her? Well for people who don’t know me personally I am skinny and she was skinnier than me. Looking at people who weigh less than me gives me a hope that even I have the right to live in this world full of obese people.

We had been chatting to each other since almost a month so; we had caught up on everything that we had been up to in past few years. There we sat opposite to each other staring blankly, Clueless on what to speak because we had chatted about almost everything. Now seriously, I had this random thought in my mind’ why don’t we just cut the crap and snog when we know already know everything we are going to speak about’ but, something stopped me from letting her know my brilliant thought. She saw that I was actually shivering under the blower. She started the conversation by inviting me to sit next to her so that I would feel a bit warm. Now, now, I got my hopes really high about this chick though, I denied the offer as I did not want myself to be branded as horny male on the first date. Truthfully speaking I was kind of nervous myself & lost in translation.
There was this friend of mine who told me about the logic on which a woman’s mind works, when you make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes, and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects. I think that's the way the system is set up in reality as well. So the only thing I did was to wait for the DJ. The DJ happens to be a very good friend of mine. Whenever he sees me in the pub he starts playing rock numbers and I get charged extra for a cocktail or a mocktail depending on the mood of the DJ.

Some time passed and we were talking on everything on general topics. But, Behold, the time of reckoning was fast approaching. LO! And it was there already. The DJ played my favorite song and I felt like dancing. Well usually I don’t bother dancing when I am with my friends; I just concentrate on drinking beer and getting drunk. So I asked her for a dance just the way a gentleman does and she DENIED. Damn man! That was bad what did she think. Well, but you can always count on me to make things worse. So, I don’t know what happened to me suddenly and I picked her up and put her on the dance floor. Shit! How could I even do that but, but if you even know a bit about my nature it wont really come as a surprise to you now, you can’t cry over the spilt milk, can you? Well, I don’t know she really was embarrassed I think. If we could have waited for some more time on the dance floor I guess house keeping guys would have required her to be mopped off the dance floor. Fuck man! How could I be so ignorant? Anyways it was time for her to leave. So just like a gentleman I decided to drop her home. In the way again I decided to push my luck but, no I am not discussing that here right now or you might just start getting wrong ideas.

Well guys I have not yet discussed the whole date clearly, these are just the excerpts of it. Neither I am going to discuss it cause that girl ‘A’ is a visitor to my blog. :P

Here ends one more of my great adventure.

Stay tuned for more disasters. Till then Chao

My First Crush

Let me clarify few things before I start writing this thing. It’s not that I have anything to do with a girl; on the contrary I am trying to avoid them these days. Now, now don’t you even bother trying to find out why this is so. Just one clarification over here is that I have not changed my preferences. But, I just was being kind of nostalgic waiting for a girl outside a shoddy pub let’s call it ‘laxative of stars’. This girl is supposed to be my looooooong lost childhood friend who used to play with me. Now after leaving the locality I had almost lost contact but, Social networking website lets call it ‘CHIRKUT’ came to my rescue again. We decide to meet each other for the old time’s sake. So, I was waiting for her. Doing nothing but getting bored.

Now waiting is not really my cup of tea. So i got a smoke stick, lit it and started sucking on it. Yeah, yeah I know I suck. Suddenly this brought all of my school time’s memories back. In the same way, I was waiting for one more girl on the road which led to her place, just to let her know that I had a crush on her. Poor me, I did not have any idea what prank was going to be played on me by my damn destiny. Now I saw this girl and literally ran and shouted at the top of my lungs to get her attention. What happened next, actually the dialogue that I had with her follows.

Me: Hey how are you?
She: I am good you say.

Me: Nothing much, actually I was kind of waiting for you.
She: What? Why were you waiting for me?

Me: err, I don’t know, this is what I wanted to tell you since a looooooong time.
She: I have to reach home in next ten minutes. So it would be great if you hurry up.

Me: I really don’t know what you will feel about me after I say this.
She: hurry up Kurtnirvana I have to study for tomorrow’s test.

Me: "I like you".
She: What are you saying? How can you say a thing like this?

Me: "What do you mean by How can you? I could not help it". “It just happened”
She: "I'm not that kind of girl. Stop thinking these things about me"

Well, only really dumb girls can come up with such kind of statements. What did she mean but "that kind of girl"? Did that mean "I'm not kind of girl whom you can get easily? Or is it that those kind of girls have horns on their head and a small tail popping out from their arse. Or you will have to try very hard to take me out and flaunt me ". Or did that mean "I'm not the girl who wants to get into these relationships. I can easily go out with anyone other than you" Or did that mean "I'm not kind of girl who will hate you for having crush on me". Or did that mean. “You have to inform me in person". Or did that mean. Ok Too many alternatives. I am really in demand and I will not go out with a petty person like you.

Me: What do you mean by *that* kind of girl?
She: Why don’t you just fuck off.

Wow. That's an innovative way to answer. Fuck off. Two words. But when she uttered those words with proper modulation and pitch, it created a fantastic impact. But why did she want me to FUCK OFF? Did I say anything stupid or vulgar? Anyways, it’s better not to ask for clarification.

Me: Sorry!
She: Its okay.
Me:(staring blankly)
She: (with bit milder tone) So since when is this liking thingie going on?

Well, did that matter now? Will you say yes if I said that I’ve had crush on you from past 1000 years. Or are you trying to find out the time I wasted on the liking and pay me the exact amount of money calculating the rate of interest? Well, is there any return in the first place?

Me: Couple of months
She: How many?

Well, she surely is trying to find out the time wasted.

Me: four months.
She: See Kurtnirvana. You are a very nice guy.

If I'm really that nice, why don’t you just say yes? Why the fuck do you have to ignore me? Or is it just for motivating me to pursue another girl you are saying this? Why don’t we just cut the crap and go around? I will really not feel bad if you say just a simple no.

She: You are very nice, intelligent. Don't fall into all these things. Concentrate on studies. You have big future in front of you.

Yeah. All right. I know I have bright future and there are many more girls who are going to be part of my crush list. Thank you for making me realize that there are many more opportunities waiting for me in future and, the world does not stop with you.

Me: Thanks. I hope there are no bad feelings in your mind. I just wanted to let you know the truth.
She: Of course. No hard feelings. Our friendship won't change for such a petty thing.

Ohh! So this is a petty thing for us. Hallelujah! I thought for a moment that she will stop speaking to me after this thing. Or was I being too childish to think like that? Maybe yes.

Me: Thanks
She: Btw, on this Raksha bandhan, I am going to tie you a Rakhi.

Well, now that was a bolt out of the blue for me. Such a big punishment for such a small wrongdoing? Now I realize how girls use this small satin thread to keep the guys under control. Now I was supposed to treat a girl as my sister. The same girl I had crush on few minutes ago. What the fuck is wrong with the girls


So that was the end of my first crush. It ended up adding one more girl to my never ending sister’s list 


The dating disaster in ‘Laxative of stars’ will follow soon I promise

Not worth a comment

Holy Shit! I just opened my eyes, and fuck! I have not updated my blog since the movie stopped Bugging me and the hero was back in 21st century ... I hope you do not think I spend all my time in front of a computer.

I am out of it with sleeping my way to the top, being distracted by the shiny star's on my ceiling, just generally being an asshole and retard to anyone unfortunate to cross my path. My day drifts aimlessly from playing word challenge in the office, straight on to midnight playing ps2. I am looking at rectifying this. But fuck if I care .

I solemnly swear on the bones of my ancestors I will write something that makes sense soon. Seriously sorry? I am really.

Charlie and Ch***ta Bananas.

No guys I am not really dead, I still am alive and kicking some mean Zombies around me even if it’s just in a game. So I kind of forgot that I also have a blog. Nothing much really going on, it’s just that I was quite engrossed in a 360 degree promotion campaign of Bananas Oh Shit! I forgot those were branded Bananas. Now if you ask me what’s wrong with me I really don’t have any clue about that because, according to some people in my new office I am suffering from a not so rare disease that’s known as, USRBS ( Unknown Stupidity and Retarded Behavior Syndrome) It’s really a simple disease. When I utter some statement that’s weird or absolutely stupid it’s called USRBS moment, Better known as my moment of glory. I think that I am actually getting out of this disease, as I am under heavy medication from Dr Che and Dr Jhayu. They never let me feel out of the place I am taking two doses of heavily sarcastic and mean comments from Dr Che, While Jhayu is giving me light hearted sessions of showing his recent injuries in creative manner. They all laugh at me thinking that I am really stupid and different, I laugh at them thinking that they all are really same.

Sorry if you are already bored but, I am really obsessed with those fantasy novel writer’s who always include looooooong ‘Epilogues’ & ‘Prologues’ before starting the actual story so, I thought of fantasizing myself(USRBS don’t bother yourself too much). So, as I was saying that I was busy in preparing a PPT for selling bananas online, my partners in crime were baby llubz and mou (no that name is not a spelling mistake, she’s bitten by the numerological bug). As I said in my previous post that I am almost not doing anything at all so Bunny Singh (Little Nat in new avatar) comes and drops a bomb on us a missile would be more appropriate as I never saw it coming. She has got some convincing skills I must admit, though she did not require much. I thought of making a lasting impression on my colleagues. I won’t hide things; I actually saw this as a big chance to show people that I am not really a retard. As this was the first week and I was happy that I was actually working on a big project. We got the brief in the mail, I went through the brief and the first thing I did was to get confused and the second thing well not worth guessing I ran to Che. The brief was kind of weird but when I saw the budget of the campaign I thought that I was really working on something big, little did I realize that it really was very big. The client, a multinational enterprise in U.S for fresh fruits. The aim of the campaign, to establish the brand as number one in respective category. Biggest competitor, local fruit vendors and ‘PRAWNS’, wait that’s not all the clients wanted to decrease the sale of prawns by 30%. Now, if you ask me why compete prawns and why decrease the sales by 30% and not 10, 15 or 35 I will reply in a typical manner ‘Fuck if I Know’( This is the answer that I got from che when I asked him the same question ). I think fuck it we will come up with some kickass idea of promoting bananas online. But to tell the truth I really had no idea on how to proceed, we finally were assigned to work under ‘the guy who loves rhino’. The best part about this guy is that he is absolutely poker faced guy; you never come to know what’s going on in his evil mind. This guy gave us a skeleton of presenting the product to the client and all we had to do was to layer it up with good flesh. We had finished 3 or 4 slides and got a theme revolving around chimps and suddenly ozzy came up, he went through the PPT and suggested some more creative changes. We started again and again the guy who loves rhinos comes up and suggests some more changes. I actually waited after the office to find interesting facts about eating bananas. The day of doom was upon us. Somehow with everyone’s help mixed and matched the final outcome looked like a faded levis jeans with lots of patches to cover the dirty parts and holes in the denim. It was my first presentation in the office so to make an impression I was wearing clean clothes. One good thing is that ozzy and jhayu did not show up as they were really enjoying at home with their imaginary friends. First time I had seen all of the employees getting together for a presentation and there was also a camera:-o. Poor us, I thought that this might be the way they work it here but suddenly, I came to know that there was a power failure and the presentation had been postponed to later part of the day. I heaved a sigh of relief, the later the better I thought. But the hour of reckoning was not really far.

We were called up at 4:00 as the guy who loves rhino introduced me to the middle man Chris who had come from the client’s side and who would decide on whether we get the contract or not. I once again saw a huge crowd and new faces all around me. I did get a bit nervous but it was llubz who had to start the show. Llubz started the show and got some weird questions listening to which even I tried hiding my face and laughing, I know its not good but the questions asked ranged from dumb to really funny and serious questions with no answer. It was mou up next on the podium. The funniest part of mou’s work was that she was supposed to search for communities and forums related to healthy eating where we could place ads for bananas and where we would get the leads from. She had a screenshot of a news article that showed Ch****ta bananas being fined for supporting terrorism. She was almost on the verge of crying. So what does a gentleman do, yeah right rescue the poor lady. That is exactly what I did but I found myself in the line of fire now. Oh! Wait did I tell you that the promotional scheme was that if you buy 6 dozens of bananas you get an ‘inflatable banana toy’. Now I am really not telling you what kind of questions came. Well if I would have stayed there for some more time with them it would really had been attrition on the first day. What’s more is that, they actually had the guts to come and hand us a letter. Now really, the first thought that I had in my mind was that all three of us were fired as the PPT was not up to the mark and we had lost a client and the CEO is so mad at us that, he does not even want to look at our pathetic faces and is firing us. Now once I opened the letter I was mad really mad and murderous it was simply an animated chimp on a banana saying that we were ‘RAGGED’. Damn I fell for it even after reading about it I fell for it. Well I guess, people are right I do suffer from USRBS.

Moral of the Story:-

If you read Blogs read them attentively and carefully as they might save you a lot of embarrassment.

Charlie Sheen Pinned

Well for a change I was told by my friend Che to write some articles that are readable unlike my previous blogs, and I was kind of shocked by his idea of writing something meaningful, I mean according to me I was writing quite meaningful articles. Whatever, I thought and so I am starting this whole new blog that is going to describe my adventures, misadventures and everything in between.

Now listening to all this I am flushed by my inability of writing good things that people can read, I was thinking on the topic to write about. Sitting in the office drooling over all the creative people around me I am clueless on what do I write about. I open a Microsoft word document to at least write down something than show it over and then publish it online. But the question still remains ‘What do I write about’? Nothing in mind I think of going home and thinking about it. I forgot to mention one important thing over here; I have just joined a new job as a trainee copywriter, without actually having any idea on what I am supposed to do. Here is the fun part though first day of my job and I have been assigned some work, my work is to prepare dumb quizzes. I am really good at that with an IQ of 10 year old, now don’t get me wrong but people do get pissed off when I ask stupid questions or give out of the box suggestions.

The funny part of my job is that when someone tells me to do some work on anything it has most probably been passed on by everyone else or they are making fool out of me. In other words suppose you have a script and it’s ready to go on the floor with the casting director rolling to sign up the actors, it’s like the role is devised probably for Tom Cruise, Edward Norton or Johnny Depp and when everyone turns the role down what they usually do is turn up to Charlie Sheen and make him understand that the role was especially written for him.

I am Charlie Sheen of my office.

3 days have passed and the only thing I have done is to make three quizzes, it’s not that I am complaining about anything, on the contrary I have just developed a liking towards the job of a copy writer. Well I still am supposed to come up with something that I can rant about or to be precise something that I can write about without actually turning people away from my blog. I think I will have to go and ask Che again on what do I write about or maybe someone else who might just tickle my funny bone if there is one. Let’s see how it turns out. Till then I think I will be gone.